Hello from Me, May Leigh

I'm struggling today, with the concept of...everything. A lot over my lifetime I have felt empty and I'm trying to find what is suppose to fill that void. I've tried food, running and boxing, kids, family, addictions, extreme spending habits in hobbies and other things. I want to be a good person because that's what I am, I don't feel a person should have to be negotiated with and bought with a reward/prize for them to live by the rules of being a good person. Now hear me out. Those rules are just common sense. Don't murder, well no shit. Don't take property that doesn't belong to you, also common sense that's why it's in every single religion no matter the variation, it's just obvious. I was reading that beliefs and religion are 90% of the time tradition, being trained, and environment, how you were raised. Some were forced to go to church from a young age and still continue to go as we get older, I do not fall into that category. I ...

The past few days have been crazy hectic with work and my inability to not concentrate on one thing when I have a million to do. I've had a ton of meetings but that is all over now and it's on to my weekend with the majority of the world. Last night I read a great deal about Buddhism, where it came from, what it means, what exactly it entails, very interesting to say the least. I come from a family of Southern Baptists as my dad was a Pastor, one aunt in all her devoteness is a Church of Christ to the core, and the other aunt when she attends is an Assembly of God, even with all these 3 completely different religions they are all very very different from Buddhism and to even hear that I am researching it was like a sword to the heart. It was almost as if they were about to lose me, like my life was ending, 'you know they don't believe in God or afterlife' welllll technically they believe in a different kind of afterlife...being reborn based on your previous life...